SoulCare for Spiritual Directors: Kate Young Wilder

You Do Not Carry This Alone

by Kate Young Wilder

As Spiritual Directors, Companions, and Deep Listeners, we have been given a precious gift. We are invited into the lives of people seeking more meaningful connections with themselves and with God—the Divine Source, the One beyond all containing and naming.

When we sit in quiet spaces with another, paying attention to their stories, listening for what the Divine Source might reveal in the shared hour, we attempt to listen with our whole being—body, mind, and spirit—attuning to holy insights and simple nudges.

And what beautiful work this is, right? How often when I gather with other Spiritual Directors from Rolling Ridge, we share our amazement at this work we are allowed to offer. We share delight in the unfoldings we’ve witnessed. And –always with respect for the privacy and primacy our profession rightly requires of us - we allude to the goodness of sessions.

• “I just met the most amazing woman for the first time!”
• “I am working with such an insightful young man. It’s a joy to listen to him make connections.”
• “I am humbled to spend time with this elder who calls on me to share her stories.”

Our work is a gift. A privilege. And a beautiful bonding in a world so in need of such realness and relationship.

There is also this, though: at times, our hearts and minds become full-to-overflowing with all we carry. Yes, there is joy. (So often, the joy!) Yet there is also a weight to the things we are asked to hold. The shame. The confidences. The heavy burdens of how life sometimes goes sideways.

The truth is that as Spiritual Directors, we are asked to bear intimate, and often difficult loads. And if we are doing our work well—in conjunction with the ethical standards of our profession—we bear those loads alone.

At The Listening Collective we recognize the need to pause and fill our own cups with the beautiful waters of restoration. We gather each month, knowing we need refreshment from the Divine Source.

In an excellent book, “Spiritual Intelligence: A New Way of Being” by Brian Draper, recommended to me by our Executive Director, Larry Jay, I read this helpful passage:‍

"If we only look for God within, then we will not wholly find God. We must look outwards: to the sacred texts, to the prophets, to great works of art, to the sacredness of the mundane, to the faces of those around us who are made in God’s image, and to the rest of God’s Creation, of which we are a part."‍

Our monthly gatherings of Soul Care for Spiritual Directors provide just this: a wonderful looking outwards as we tend to the inward. Sometimes, being together and looking around our virtual circle and seeing the love in the faces of each other, I am struck by the beauty of God’s creation. We each bring such different gifts to this world. How good it is to fortify our gifts in the Presence of the Holy One.

I think of the old hymn, “Sweet hour of prayer, sweet hour of prayer, that calls me from a world of care….” In our own contemporary—and contemplative—version of that 1845 song, we gather, yes, for a sweet hour of prayer. We also observe silence and breath meditation. We greet one another around the circle of our modern day zoom fire, marked by the lighting of our individual candles from all around the United States. Perhaps we share a poem or a psalm; a passage for Lectio Divina; a beautiful song. There are many ways to feed our souls. We seek to feed your soul—every time we gather.

I have a new favorite song that a dear friend shared. It is called, “Carry This All” by Alexandra Blakely. In a gorgeous layering of harmony and percussion upon an initially very simple tune, Blakely sings, over and over, “You do not carry this all alone. No, you do not carry this this all alone. This is way too big for you to carry this on your own. So, you do not carry this all alone.”‍

As I have listened to and been ministered by the beauty of this piece all summer, I have often thought of Rolling Ridge. In my experience, Rolling Ridge is the place in my life that reminds me that I “do not carry this all alone.” Through my connections with The Listening Collective and also programs like Pray and Paddle, A Joyful Gathering at Artist Week, Days Apart, and various soul care offerings, I know I am not alone. And how I thank God—the Divine Source of All Love—for this truth.

So if you find yourself curious about Soul Care for Spiritual Directors, I most warmly invite you to join us. You will find a listing of our various Soul Care groups below. And if I may answer any questions for you, please reach out. I am here to share the load. You can find me at kateyoungnh@gmail.com.